A friend recently asked me to summarize the three most important action items for executives and managers who wish to be supportive of employees who are dealing with the challenges associated with caregiving/work balance. I responded that trust, flexibility, and informed advice offer the greatest opportunities for true support. Here's why:

1) TRUST

Trust between the manager and employee is the most important area.

An effective manager will set a tone among his or her team that assures those team members who may be involved in caregiving that

a) It's "OK" to make use of the policies and benefits the company offers, and

b) Caregiving is a normal activity, not something that needs to be hidden.

Establishing a trustful climate increases the probability that the employee will communicate with the manager sooner rather than later, thus minimizing productivity losses and avoiding unnecessary turnover.

The opposite of a trusting climate is one of fear and intimidation where the employed family caregiver is constantly concerned about retribution for taking time off or using other corporate policies or benefits.

As stated by Stephen Covey in his classic The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, trust is enhanced or diminished over time in accord with our day-to-day interactions with our fellow human beings (in this case, employees).

Covey suggests that, in every relationship, there is an "emotional bank account." To use his metaphor in the employment arena, let's consider that each time a manager fulfills a promise or goes above-and-beyond what is normally expected, thereby demonstrating his or her genuine caring for an employee, that manager makes a "deposit" in the employee's emotional bank account. Each time that manager betrays an employee's trust or treats the employee with a lack of dignity and respect, the manager makes a "withdrawal" from the employee's emotional bank account.

When the employee is emotionally overwhelmed with a family caregiving situation, he or she feels vulnerable. At such a time the "balance" in his or her "emotional bank account" with the manager will determine whether or not the employee feels a sufficient level of trust with the manager to risk sharing pertinent information that could determine the employee's level of performance, or, in some cases, the employee's desire to continue employment with the organization.

2) FLEXIBILITY

The research shows that employed family caregivers value the ability to come in late or leave early or take off time when needed. The first-line manager sets the tone for how much flexibility is acceptable, regardless what norms are codified in corporate policies and practices.

In the words of Ellen Galinsky of the Families and Work Institute, "It's the supervisor and the company's culture that really make the difference --if your company has flextime but your supervisor won't let you use it, it doesn't do you any good."

One example of an effective way to be flexible is to encourage employees within the manager's group to resolve flexible scheduling issues on a team basis, through a process of give-and-take. If there is a good level of trust among the members of the group, and a mix of needs, members of the group will create equilibrium over time. The manager's role in this example is to monitor, advise, and serve as a resource in regard to policies and benefits.

3) INFORMED ADVICE

It's vitally important for the first line manager to have at least a general familiarity with the company's benefits that can help the employed family caregiver keep his or her life in balance - and to keep up-to-date on changes that are relevant.

Knowing, for example, that the company offers a consultation and referral service and how that service works makes it more likely that the manager will remind the employee of its existence and its potential benefit when the employee finds him or herself in a stressful situation.

With the shifting demographics occurring within organizations today, it is important for benefits managers to take a fresh look at these offerings from the employed family caregiver's point-of-view. It is valuable to issue a summary of benefits and policies from this viewpoint, so that manager's can see, at-a- glance, how such benefits as company's health plan, Employee Assistance Plan, or dependent care assistance plan can be useful to employed family caregivers.

The behavior of all managers - and employees, for that matter - is constantly influenced and shaped by the employer's corporate culture. Top management must articulate and reinforce support for caregiving/life balance - not just in the corporate mission statement, but also in repeated messaging to all managers and employees.

Examples of effective key messages by the executive leadership include:

• "Caregiving for a family member is a normal activity that occurs among a substantial number of our employees. We, the leaders and managers of the company, recognize this and we support needed flexibility."
• "We ourselves 'walk the talk.' " Employee newsletters, intranet resources, and other communication channels need to repeatedly highlight examples of executives and managers who have used company policies and benefits intended to support caregiving/work balance.

My second book, Elder Care: A Six Step Guide to Balancing Work and Family, draws on the management concepts articulated in A Manager's Guide to Elder Care and Work and provides the employee a step-by-step process to create a written plan to deal with his or her personal situation. The second edition of Elder Care: A Six Step Guide to Balancing Work and Family, will be released to select organizational clients in June 2007.

I welcome your thoughts on the topic of what constitutes the most important areas of management action in support of employed family caregivers. I will highlight the best responses in a future edition of this e-newsletter.