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Major Ingredients of Caring – Part
1:
Knowing, Alternating Rhythms, Patience, and
Honesty
Caring is an aspect of human endeavor which, in
our age of specialization, we have been taught to
believe we can safely leave aside. But with the aging
of our population and the increasing number of
employees who are grappling with elder care, Caring
is being recognized as central to human experience in
the 21st century.
The excerpts below from
Milton
Mayeroff’s book, On Caring (New York: Harper Collins,
1971) are equally relevant to the employee caring for
mom or dad and for the supervisor or manager who
values Caring in his or her relationship with co-
workers. Mayeroff defines Caring as “helping the other
grow.” This month we look at the first four of the eight
major ingredients.
There are at least eight major ingredients of
Caring:
- Knowing – Good intentions and warm
regard are not enough. We must understand the
other’s needs and be able to respond properly to
them. To be truly Caring, we must know who the other
is. And we need to understand his or her powers and
limitations and needs, as well as what is conducive to
his or her growth. We need to know how to respond to
his or her needs. And we need to know what our own
powers and limitations are.
- Alternating Rhythms – We cannot care by
sheer habit. We must be able to learn from the past,
see what our actions have amounted to and whether
we have helped or not. In the light of the results, we
can either maintain or modify our behavior, so we can
better help the other. It may involve doing “nothing.” In
caring for a person, there are times when we do not
inject ourselves into the situation. We don’t take a
stand one way or the other; we do “nothing.” And
when we undergo this “inactivity,” I see what resulted
from it and change my behavior accordingly.
- Patience – This means enabling the
other to grow in his or her own time and in his or her
own way. We are patient because we believe in the
growth of the other. We also need to be patient with
ourselves. We need to give ourselves a chance to
learn, to see and discover both the other person and
ourselves. We need to give ourselves a chance to
Care.
- Honesty – Honesty is present in caring as
something positive, and not as a matter of not doing
something, not telling lies or not deliberately deceiving
others. In caring, I am honest in trying to see truly, i.e,
to see the other as he or she really is, and not as I
would like him or her to be. If I am to help the other
grow, I must respond to his or her changing needs.
Even when the facts are unpleasant, I respect them,
for it is only by taking them seriously that I can be in
touch with the other care for him or her. And I must
see myself as I am – what I am doing and whether
what I am doing helps or hinders the growth of the
other.
What do you think? Take a
moment now to send us an
email with your opinion and we will publish your
thoughts in the next issue.
John Paul Marosy
Editor and President,
Bringing Elder Care Home, LLC
John
Paul Marosy is the author of Elder Care: A
Six Step Guide to Balancing
Work and Family, available from Bringing Elder
Care Home Publishing online
at our Web site or by calling
508-854-0431.
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John Paul Marosy, President
Pre-Publication Special!
2nd Edition on Its Way
This is a new, Special Offer available only to
the loyal
readers of Elder Care/ Work Balance©
newsletter.
In May 2007, we will publicly release the New,
Updated, Second Edition of John Paul Marosy’s
award-winning book, Elder Care and Work: Finding
the Balance.
The Second Edition
maintains the
original version’s concise, practical, and inspirational
character and adds new insights into
- Finding and maintaining one’s personal Dynamic
Balance,
- New resources for balancing elder care and work on
the Internet and in the community,
- Updates information on key programs and services
vital to finding balance, and
- New Original Artwork by noted illustrator Maura
Zimmer – setting just the right purposeful, upbeat tone.
Readers who order one or more cartons (60 books
per carton) during March and April 2007, receive
BOTH
a Quantity Discount and Free Shipping!
And
remember: we continue to offer Special Editions with
your organization’s logo and contact information on
the title page and back cover (extra charge).
ORDER EXAMPLES – Free Shipping!
One Carton (60): $12.75 per book, 15% discount, save
$2.25 off the $14.95 cover price. Cost =
$762.00
Five Cartons (300): $11.96 per book, 20% discount,
save $2.99 per copy. Cost = $3,588
17 Cartons (1,000): $10.00 per book, 33% discount,
save $4.94 per copy. Cost = $10.000
If you are a journalist or the editor of a newsletter,
email us today for your free Review Copy. We’ll
send it
out the day the books come off the press. Just drop
us an
email and include “review copy” in the subject
line.
It’s easy to order your books! Choose 1, 2, or 3
below:
1. Send a check to Bringing Elder Care
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2. If you need an invoice, end us an
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That’s all there is to it!
Questions? Interested in a Special Edition for your
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0431.
Thank you for your readership and your continued
support!
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