By John Paul Marosy, President
Bringing Elder Care Home LLC
jpmarosy@charter.net
(508) 854-0431

"Are you cut out to be a caregiver?"

This question, posed to readers of my new book, Elder Care: A Six Step Guide to Balancing Work and Family, has raised more eyebrows and generated more response than any other point made in the book.

Many readers say they had simply never stopped to ask themselves this question. They assumed that, because of a strongly-felt obligation to care for mom or dad, they had no choice about whether or not to take on the role of primary caregiver, i.e., the person responsible for coordinating (if not providing) all aspects of care.

The skills needed to effectively manage the care of an elder are like those needed to successfully run a family business - with a healthy dose of human kindness added to the mix:

• managing the financial aspects of care,
• coordinating the actions of other people who are directly or indirectly involved,
• organizing the support of professionals, like doctors and lawyers,
• arranging housing and transportation, and, in some cases,
• providing personal care, like bathing or helping with dressing and undressing.

"In the Dutch Carers Association, we feel strongly that carers themselves must be free to decide whether they want to be a carer and, if yes, how much care they feel able to give.

"We believe that caring relationships are among the most valuable in our society and they should be stimulated and supported but they should be engaged in out of free will and without coercion. This will enhance the quality of the caring relationship and the quality of life of both the carer and the cared for person…"

"We are trying to redefine the role of carers and to consider them uniquely as providers of services, not as recipients. What does this approach mean for the support of carers?

"We have compared the support of carers with the support of other workers, professionals, in care or in education.

"Personnel policies and human resources management are important tools these days in professional organisations. It is expected of employers to create favourable conditions for their workers so that they can function well in the organisation.

"A good employer will see to it that his workers have the right skills and competencies and will ensure that they will get additional training when necessary.

"The workers will get support on the job. If their workload becomes too heavy, part of the work may be shifted to a colleague. If there are problems with clients, they can ask advice from a more experienced staff member. If the work is emotionally very taxing, the organisation will try to give emotional support. Last but not least, an exchange of ideas among colleagues, coping with the same problems can be most helpful and is often stimulated by the organisation.

"Employers are responsible for good working conditions as well, many of them being laid down in legislation, such as reasonable working hours, holidays, safety at work, the use of technical aids for heavy work etc.

"We find it only normal that such provisions are available for professional care workers. Then: why not for carers?

"If we define the support of carers as being similar to the support of professionals: necessary for a good performance, there can no longer be any confusion: carers provide care and are no care recipients. The support needed by carers is support which will enable them to perform better, to feel more competent in this role and to prevent overexertion. Thus carers will be perceived as persons who make a contribution to society and not as those who are on the receiving end. The contribution of carers is one which makes society a better place to live in and worthy of being sustained."

Should men and women be able to choose whether or not to take on the role of primary caregiver? What would it mean for our society to provide this kind of support for family caregivers in the U.S.? How might we begin to create "caregiver-friendly" communities? Are you aware of model programs that are moving in this direction?

We welcome your thoughts and opinions on this subject. Visit the Elder Care/Work Balance discussion group at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/bringingeldercarehome and let us know!
For a copy of Ms. Pijl's complete remarks, contact her at pijl.ma@tref.nl

John Paul Marosy
Editor and President,
Bringing Elder Care Home LLC

John Paul Marosy is the author of Elder Care: A Six Step Guide to Balancing Work and Family, available from Bringing Elder Care Home Publishing on line at www.bringingeldercarehome.com or by calling 508-854-0431.

"This guide is a must for employers as well as employed caregivers. Both will reap the benefits. John Paul's step-by-step approach applies sound principles - and brings clarity and common sense to what can be an overwhelming experience. "Elder Care: A Six Step Guide to Balancing Work and Family" offers a cost effective way for employers to avoid productivity losses related to elder care - while empowering employees who are dealing with this growing issue."

      -- Ken Apfel, former Commissioner, U.S. Social Security Administration

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